| Author (if available): T.W. o. Oz |
| Title: Thousand Cocks, A |
| Category: or, A Thousand Cocks On A Sandy Beach In the Back Seat of a Roadster with Coaching by Serious Actors In Other Roles While Serving Tea to Teddy Bears (But Without Donuts) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): HUMOR |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): Extravaganza of copulating media characters – but it is all a dream of Cowley’s who is sleeping with Frank Black. |
| Word count (thousands) 17 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Tasha |
| Title: Truce |
| Category: CROSS (CROSSOVER) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): (B&D do not appear here at all but it is the tail end of a crossover with them.) Present day. S&H are now both vampires. After a stint with Cowley they went to the States. They meet Nick Knight who reminesces back to the events of WWII. In France with the Maquis, the vampire was captured by the Germans to be “studied”, and narrowly escaped death and madness, with the help of his temporarily benign mentor-father-lover LaCroix. (hence the Title:). Then they escape to London to be helped by Cowley. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 110 |
| Word count (thousands) 18.4 |
| Date written: Nov 1995 ? |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Terence |
| Title: Dreamin’ |
| Category: FSTIM (FIRST TIME) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 22 |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Terence |
| Title: Kinky Boots |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B finds a record called ÒKinky Boots” (from ÒThe Avengers”) in D’s collection and asks if D has a leather fetish. D denies, they have hot sex. B admits he would like to see D in leather trousers and D promises he’ll wear them in the house if B buys them. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 11 |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: 1990? |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: T.H.E. 21 |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Terrell, Linda |
| Title: Best Seat in the House |
| Category: XMAS |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B&D are assigned to protect Santa Claus as he delivers presents. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 28 |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: 1990 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Bodysnatcher |
| Category: AU |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): D has very agitated nightmares of someone called Cade snatching his body and taking his place in B’s bed. B&D wake up, talk about the nightmare, make love; then they go, as per C’s orders, to Eastland. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): |
| Word count (thousands) 33 |
| Date written: 700 |
| Sequel to: Jan. 1999 |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Christmas Limerick by The Hag |
| Category: XMAS |
| |
| Said Bodie: “I found something shocking |
| |
| That somebody left in my stocking. |
| |
| “I think I can guess |
| |
| “So Doyle needn’t confess |
| |
| Who thought of a chocolate cockring. |
| |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 30 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Comfort and Joy |
| Category: XMAS |
| Stake out a stable? On Christmas Eve? Doyle demanded indignantly. “Tell the Cow to pull the other leg–the one with jinglebells on!” |
| |
| Bodie shrugged. “Seemed serious.” |
| |
| Doyle snorted. “Tell you what, sunshine, if any pregnant birds show up on little donkeys, I’m off home!” |
| |
| Well after midnight, Cowley’s voice: “They changed the rendezvous and we’ve picked up the three gunrunners. Merry Christmas.” |
| |
| Bit of comfort and joy? Bodie suggested hopefully. |
| |
| Doyle contemplated the fodder-holding structures. “Not that roomy, are they?” |
| |
| Suppose they hold what a horse needs. Why? |
| |
| Fancied havin’ it away in a manger. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 97 |
| Date written: Xmas 1998 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Dribble by the Hag |
| Category: HUMOR |
| I once had a life |
| |
| And I once had a brain, |
| |
| And I once had a cat, |
| |
| And I *might* have been sane. |
| |
| |
| |
| Then along came ——-* |
| |
| And as quick as a flash |
| |
| My life, as it was, |
| |
| Dissolved into slash. |
| |
| |
| |
| The Lads took my life |
| |
| And my brain, I know that, |
| |
| And I think it was Cowley, |
| |
| Not age, twepped the cat. |
| |
| |
| |
| *name deleted to protect the guilty |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 68 |
| Date written: Jun. 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Frustration |
| Category: DRABBLE (story of 100 words -can be RRobin) |
| Not going to work, lover, Doyle said sadly. “Things you can get your cock into and things you can’t, and this is one of ’em.” |
| |
| Bodie hated to admit defeat. “Just one more try?” |
| |
| No good, sweetheart. Too fragile to take it. And the sheets are getting all sticky and revolting. |
| |
| But I really love– |
| |
| Can’t always screw what you love, sunshine. Have to do the oral thing, won’t you?”’ |
| |
| Well, next time I fancy a dessert break and you tell me to go and fuck my bloody swiss roll, I’m not stopping till I’ve bloody well done it! |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 100 |
| Date written: May. 5, 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Honourable Intentions |
| Category: HUMOR |
| The typing pool sends fake paternity suits notifications to the CI5 agents as an April’s Fool — and B&D profit of the occasion to announce (C is present) that they are engaged. Given the context of course nobody believes it, so they can now hide in plain view! |
| |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 22 |
| Word count (thousands) 500 |
| Date written: Jan. 4, 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Hot Chocolate Bodie |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B overpowers D and starts to rape him — but D has a cramp and says the safeword: they are playing S&M games. The fantasy spoilt, they start having sex sweetly, slowly, and talk as they go. B says that their safeword, “darling”, is not appropriate anymore (hint that they started on less loving terms?) and they should think of another one, one that cannot be misunderstood and that will work instantly. Inspiration strikes: “Cowley” is the perfect word! So perfect that they lose their erections… Fun ending. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 500 |
| Date written: Feb. 8, 1988 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Le Beau Doyle Sans Merci |
| Category: POEM |
| O what can ail thee, Agent B, |
| Alone and palely loitering? |
| The pubs are tightly closed and barred; |
| No stake-out-ing. |
| |
| I met my partner at HQ, |
| Ex-copper, not of temper mild; |
| His hair was long, his feet were large, |
| And his green eyes wild. |
| |
| I shoved him into the Capri, |
| And nothing else saw all day long, |
| For sideways would he lean and sing |
| A ribald song. |
| |
| He bought me beer, and fish and chips, |
| Fine single malt, and Swiss rolls too, |
| And sure in language plain he said, |
| “I fancy you!” |
| |
| He took me to his grotty flat, |
| And there we boozed till almost four, |
| And there we had it off (and on) |
| Till we were sore. |
| |
| I dreamed pale birds and fellers too, |
| Pale slashers, death-pale were they all, |
| Who cried: “Le Beau Doyle Sans Merci |
| “Hath thee in thrall!” |
| |
| How can I kip! he snarled in wrath, |
| With you sleep-talkin’ mangled Keats? |
| He chucked me out, and here I am |
| In the angst-cold streets. |
| |
| And that is why you find me here, |
| Alone and palely loiterin’. |
| 3.7! That’s his R/T now: |
| “Oi! Get back in!” |
| |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 200 |
| Date written: 1998? |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Lullaby |
| Category: FILK |
| Hush, handsome Bodie, don’t say a word, |
| Doyle’s gonna check out your latest bird. |
| |
| If that bird won’t give you a thing, |
| |
| Doyle’s gonna buy you a gold cock-ring. |
| |
| If that gold cock-ring turns brass |
| |
| Doyle’s gonna |
| |
| Look, just go to sleep! |
| |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 50 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Missing Details |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): D has a nightmare in which he and B are the model toy B&D of the Corgi Capri set–and anatomically incorrect!!! |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 700 |
| Date written: Jun. 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Pancake Tuesday |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B&D celebrate Shrove Tuesday in the traditional way by cooking (D) and eating (B) lots of pancakes — except a lone one that stuck to the ceiling. D announces that he is giving up women for Lent — B agrees and they happily move into being exclusive. All is well except for the poor pancake. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 1.1 |
| Date written: Feb. 16, 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Perfect Day for Banana Slugs, A |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B&D visit an exotic pets expo. Don’t talk to the bird, B! |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): |
| Word count (thousands) 33 |
| Date written: 300 |
| Sequel to: April. 1999 |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Raymond and Bodie |
| Category: CROSS (CROSSOVER) |
| Raymond and Bodie were lovers, |
| Oh Lordy how they did love! |
| Swore to be true to each other |
| Just like the stars above. |
| He was Ray’s man, but he was doing him wrong. |
| |
| Raymond went down to the library, |
| Flashed his ID with a sneer, |
| Asked of the busy librarian |
| Has that bastard Bodie been here? |
| He is my man, think he’s doin’ me wrong. |
| |
| Ain’t gonna tell you no stories, |
| Somebody else has got hair, |
| Bodie took a book just an hour ago |
| With a cute little guy called Blair; |
| Your Bodie-man must be doin’ you wrong! |
| |
| Raymond went over to Bodie’s, |
| Pulled out his big forty-four, |
| Was all set to shoot, rooty-toot-toot, |
| When a voice sounded through the door: |
| Ray’s my man, and I won’t do him wrong. |
| |
| Surely am happy to to hear that, |
| Said this big fellow called Jim, |
| Sorry to sneak up behind you |
| But Blair’s fate was looking grim! |
| He is my man, wouldn’t do me wrong. |
| |
| Bodie and Blair were embarrassed, |
| Blushed as they came into sight, |
| Caught with a gaysex manual, |
| Reading how to do their lovers right: |
| Tired of hearing: “You’re doin’ me wrong.” |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 200 |
| Date written: December 1989 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Safety |
| Category: RELAT (RELATIONSHIP) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B overpowers D and starts to rape him — but D has a cramp and says the safeword: they are playing S&M games. The fantasy spoilt, they start having sex sweetly, slowly, and talk as they go. B says that their safeword, “darling”, is not appropriate anymore (hint that they started on less loving terms?) and they should think of another one, one that cannot be misunderstood and that will work instantly. Inspiration strikes: “Cowley” is the perfect word! So perfect that they lose their erections… Fun ending. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 22 |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: 1998? |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Thanks for The… |
| Category: LIGHT |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): The CI5 Thanksgiving party (for an American girlfriend) ends up in a food fight. B and D go home and clean themselves up by licking each other. SWS. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 2.7 |
| Date written: November 1998 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: That Was No Poem, That Was… |
| Category: POEM |
| “You call that a poem?” said Bodie, |
| |
| No meter or rhyme I should say! |
| |
| No problem, Doyle answered, and kissed him, |
| |
| The main thing is we are not gay! |
| |
| Word count (thousands) 33 |
| Date written: 30 |
| Sequel to: Jan. 1999 |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Travel Bargain of the Month |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Your eyes were on the wallpaper: |
| |
| (Mind you, I wouldn’t knock it!) |
| |
| Supposed to go to Katmandu |
| |
| I’m now in Doyle’s pocket! |
| |
| |
| Word count (thousands) 33 |
| Date written: 20 |
| Sequel to: Jan. 1999 |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Valentine Situation, The |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): It is Valentine’s Day and the Gods are trying their best to get B&D together, plotting so that they can at last acknowledge their mutual love. And with the help of some leftovers from the Muse of Love Poetry, they succeed… |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 3.8 |
| Date written: Feb. 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: What-Eyed Monster? |
| Category: HUMOR |
| See you’ve changed your eyes to that sort of brownish-green, Bodie said. |
| |
| Well, with blue things didn’t seem quite the same. Kept feeling I was getting much smaller with the light blue, and I put on about three stone when I tried dark. |
| |
| I fancied the emerald, said Bodie wistfully. |
| |
| Yes, but the glitter distracted me. I might go back to grey tomorrow. |
| |
| I’ll settle for malachite or jade. Or that blue-green mix wasn’t bad. What colour were you born with? |
| |
| I’ll let you know when you tell me what you really weigh. |
| |
| |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 100 |
| Date written: 1999 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): The Hag |
| Title: Why Do We Do This Job? |
| Category: HUMOR |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): Dialogue between B&D on why they do their job — they sold their souls to the Devil (C) in exchange for fast exciting life and the love of their life with each other… |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): |
| Word count (thousands) 33 |
| Date written: 300 |
| Sequel to: Feb. 23, 1999 |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Thomas |
| Title: Ambush |
| Category: DARK |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): Hate-love-lust relationship. When in the course of an op B has to obey the baddies and almost shoot D, things come to the boil. They have a raging confrontation, fight and finally end up having dark dark dark sex. They have started on a very slippery path. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 97 |
| Word count (thousands) 7.4 |
| Date written: 1987 -revised 1/1990 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: …AS TWO 3 POUND NOTES |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Thomas |
| Title: Angel in the Dark |
| Category: DEATH |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): The relationship between B&D is hard, angsty and doomed. There is really no plot — they keep misunderstanding each other, and in the end B dies and D kills himself. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 144 pp. |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: Jan. 1996 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Thomas |
| Title: Chalk and Cheese |
| Category: EMCON |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B is getting married despite his complex relationship with D. They had sex once, and are very close emotionally, but they are unable to give each other what they need and sustaing the relationship. D desperately gets B in bed again but they ultimately acknowledge defeat. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 15 pp. |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: Oct. 1995 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: D-NOTICE |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Thomas |
| Title: Limbo |
| Category: RELAT (RELATIONSHIP) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B, prompted by the horror of the job, tries to express some stirring feelings for D. D, in love with B, kisses him. B is angered, feels that is wrong, and turns D down. An unstable truce is signed, B’s feeling uneasy and scared; one night after this long limbo they do have sex, but the morning after B still fails to clear the air, and all is still unresolved. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 65 |
| Word count (thousands) 7.4 |
| Date written: 1991 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK 2 |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Thomas |
| Title: Sanctuary |
| Category: EMCON |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B is in a park, his sanctuary when he needs to, and is troubled by his feelings towards D; they had a night of sex 6 weeks earlier, but B can’t forget it, depite his fear of committing. D rejoins him, and confesses he is equally troubled. They acknowledge the attraction, agree it is crazy and doomed, but end up in a clinch nevertheless. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 1.9 |
| Date written: 1987 -revised 1/1990 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: BRITISH TAKEAWAY 4 |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Thomas, Barbara |
| Title: Indecent Proposal |
| Category: RELAT (RELATIONSHIP) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B dares D to have sex and D, after much hesitation, accepts. It turns out that B has been fancying D since the beginning, (actually, loving him); that D was scared but fascinated and more than ready to love too; that the dare was precipitated by a threesome when B realized that D was ready to be seduced. Hot sex and D’s acceptance of the relationship. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 13 pp. |
| Word count (thousands) |
| Date written: Oct/Nov 1995 |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: UNPROFESSIONAL CONDUCT 6 |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Tigwinkle |
| Title: Playing Possum |
| Category: CAT |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): Stray Sunny Jim (D) tries to get into the territory of fierce old MacTavish (C) and sleek black Ashanti (B). After a few scuffles, B offers him his amity. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 4.5 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Too Loose |
| Title: Day The Rain Came, The |
| Category: H/C:e (Hurt/Comfort: Emotional) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): D is jealous because he thinks B is having an affair with Murphy, so he becomes aggressive and they fight. After a while, B realizes what is going on, and forces D to talk rather than just lashing out. The misunderstanding is over, they resolve to communicate more in the future, and all is well. |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 65 |
| Word count (thousands) 5.6 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: ENDLESS FRISKY NIGHTS |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Trent, Jay |
| Title: Check, The |
| Category: EMCON |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): C sends B&D as undercover agents among Giorgio’s mercs. (B&D had already had a spate with Giorgio in Africa). Instructions are to please Giorgio to get info, to the point of consenting to the foursome Giorgio has planned. B&D are upset but carry on — except they found out Giorgio is dead, and C had really sent them there to test the limits of their obedience and the strength of their relationship. Mad at C but relieved, B&D spend a happy sexual weekend in Geneva (SWS). |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 1.9 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Trent, Jay |
| Title: Christmas Conversation, A |
| Category: XMAS |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): B&D are sitting in front of the fireplace and talk of their past, as they wait for C… |
| Size in K/Number of Pages (pp): 33 |
| Word count (thousands) 900 |
| Date written: |
| Sequel to: |
| Prequel to: |
| Originally published in zine: |
| |
| ________________ |
| |
| Author (if available): Tricia |
| Title: Bodie Game Snippet |
| Category: DRABBLE (story of 100 words -can be RRobin) |
| Plot summary (very short pieces are sometimes copied here in their entirety): Yeah, Doyle, the Game is were mercs fight one another and the loser |
| gets buggered, alright?” |
| |
| Bodie, did you ever… |
| |
| Deadly Bodie glare ends conversation. |
| |
| Word count (thousands) 25 |
| Date written: Jan. 17, 1999 |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| ________________ |